1 second ago – I heard someone scream.
It wasn’t me this time. They stopped pretty quickly.
1.5 seconds ago – I closed my eyes and waited.
I gave in to my fate. It was now beyond my control.
2 seconds ago – I left the denial behind.
Why let it eat at me? It’s already happened.
2.5 seconds ago – I made one last bargaining plea.
If you’re there, God…well. Never mind.
3 seconds ago – I wondered if it’d hurt.
I tried to do the math. But I was never good at math.
3.5 seconds ago – I swear I heard him laugh.
The one time in my life I actually hear him. Great.
4 seconds ago – I pleaded with God.
I’ve made a terrible choice. I need a miracle. Please.
4.5 seconds ago – I frantically tried to undo this.
It’s impossible, though. It’s already begun.
5 seconds ago – I kept doing it anyway.
My throat feels ragged. I can taste copper.
5.5 seconds ago – I realized screaming was futile.
I briefly hesitate, then carry on. Because I’ve got nothing to lose.
6 seconds ago – I was still screaming.
If I have a guardian angel, I could use him now.
6.5 seconds ago – My screams continued.
I wondered if angels are real.
7 seconds ago – I started to scream.
What was I thinking?
7.5 seconds ago – I wanted to take it back.
God, I’m such an idiot.
8 seconds ago – I realized what I’d done.
This was a terrible mistake.
8.5 seconds ago – I felt free.
This is amazing.
9 seconds ago – It was exhilarating.
I feel so alive, released from every weight of life.
9.5 seconds ago – I stepped from the ledge.
It was easier than I thought.
10 seconds ago – I made my decision.
I let the telephone ring as I opened the window.
15 seconds ago – I knew what the call was about.
I wondered if I’d prefer it by my hand or theirs.
20 seconds ago – The telephone began to ring.
I set down the ticker-tape. Staring at it wouldn’t change a thing.
30 seconds ago – A general sense of panic filled the air.
An uneasy murmur crept in from beneath my door.
60 seconds ago – I pulled the fresh ticker-tape.
The numbers didn’t lie. It was all true. We were done for.