432 PARK AVENUE

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1 second ago – I heard someone scream.

It wasn’t me this time. They stopped pretty quickly.

1.5 seconds ago – I closed my eyes and waited.

I gave in to my fate. It was now beyond my control.

2 seconds ago – I left the denial behind.

Why let it eat at me? It’s already happened.

2.5 seconds ago – I made one last bargaining plea.

If you’re there, God…well. Never mind.

3 seconds ago – I wondered if it’d hurt.

I tried to do the math. But I was never good at math.

3.5 seconds ago – I swear I heard him laugh.

The one time in my life I actually hear him. Great.

4 seconds ago – I pleaded with God.

I’ve made a terrible choice. I need a miracle. Please.

4.5 seconds ago – I frantically tried to undo this.

It’s impossible, though. It’s already begun.

5 seconds ago – I kept doing it anyway.

My throat feels ragged. I can taste copper.

5.5 seconds ago – I realized screaming was futile.

I briefly hesitate, then carry on. Because I’ve got nothing to lose.

6 seconds ago – I was still screaming.

If I have a guardian angel, I could use him now.

6.5 seconds ago – My screams continued.

I wondered if angels are real.

7 seconds ago – I started to scream.

What was I thinking?

7.5 seconds ago – I wanted to take it back.

God, I’m such an idiot.

8 seconds ago – I realized what I’d done.

This was a terrible mistake.

8.5 seconds ago – I felt free.

This is amazing.

9 seconds ago – It was exhilarating.

I feel so alive, released from every weight of life.

9.5 seconds ago – I stepped from the ledge.

It was easier than I thought.

10 seconds ago – I made my decision.

I let the telephone ring as I opened the window.

15 seconds ago – I knew what the call was about.

I wondered if I’d prefer it by my hand or theirs.

20 seconds ago – The telephone began to ring.

I set down the ticker-tape. Staring at it wouldn’t change a thing.

30 seconds ago – A general sense of panic filled the air.

An uneasy murmur crept in from beneath my door.

60 seconds ago – I pulled the fresh ticker-tape.

The numbers didn’t lie. It was all true. We were done for.

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